Anticipation.

Today was my CD 10 ultrasound with the RE to check the progress of my follicle development and size of my uterine lining. As it turns out, I have two "very nice looking" follicles on my right ovary, but my lining is not thick enough yet. So the doctor gave me an estrogen patch to wear on my tummy, which is supposed to thicken the lining. In addition, we were given the HCG injectables and a quick tutorial on how to administer the shot. It's supposed to give me the surge...but we will only need this if I don't see a LH surge on my OPK today or tomorrow. We will do the shot on Wednesday night, and the IUI is scheduled for Thursday morning. This was a lot of information to take in, but pretty exciting also! I am just praying this cycle works out. Really praying.

My mom suggested some meditation, relaxation, and visualization for the next few days. I think I will take her advice on this. I am going to try to be as relaxed and healthy as possible!

I can still have good news...

I am such a nerd. I called my SIL today to finalize plans to see them this weekend, and after chatting for awhile, I said, "Oh yeah, I have good news!" To which she responded by freaking out (because she thought my good news was THE news). I quickly remedied the situation, correcting myself (and her) by sharing the real good news! This is the second time that happened this week. My good friend, who lives far away, and I were catching up on the phone, and I made the mistake of telling her that I have good news. She had a similar "freak out" reaction.

I ran upstairs today after getting off the phone with SIL and told M to remind me to NOT say I have good news until I have THE good news that everyone is expecting! I guess this is a repercussion of making my IF struggle public news!

I hate Clomid.

This month is my third try with clomid, although it's our first experience with IUI. The lower dosage is definitely better, but I am still getting hot flashes and mood swings. I had such a wonderful, relaxing day today, but I found myself crying tonight for no apparent reason! And now I'm fine. It's almost as if the clomid just makes you want to get the tears out and over with. I've heard the injectables are even worse! M was very sweet and understanding tonight. He just hugged and hugged me, and that made me feel a lot better. I know he doesn't have same intensity in his emotions about IF as I do, but I also know he does have sadness and a strong desire for our child to be conceived!

Tomorrow we leave for a long weekend road trip. I am very much looking forward to a change of scenery, and to get our on the open road with my hubby and puppy. We will be visiting my brother, M's brother and SIL, and other various friends. When we come back, I have an ultrasound to monitor the growth and size of my follies. I'm looking forward to this, as it puts us that much closer to the O date!

Cautiously Optimistic.

I went in for my ultrasound this morning, and saw that the cysts had almost completely resolved. There were a few small ones, but nothing of great concern. So we are going ahead with our plan of action! IUI #1 will take place next week sometime! I am guardedly excited, and cautiously optimistic...keeping fingers and toes crossed!

Not sure what to think.

M and I just returned from a fantastic weekend of wine tasting and visiting with family. Yesterday, I awoke to a drastically dropped temperature, so in my packing frenzy, I grabbed a handful of tampons to make sure I'd be okay for the trip. Sure enough, AF reared her ugly head into my beautiful Sunday morning. I was expecting to be excited to see AF this month, since this is supposed to be IUI attempt #1; however, I'm so conflicted, of course, because I am overthinking and anyalyzing everything right now!

My RE said I'm supposed to come in for a baseline ultrasound on CD 2 (tomorrow), and then start clomid on CDs 2-6. I'm pretty nervous that when I call in the morning they are going to tell me that since my cycle was so short (18 days!), it wasn't enough time for the cysts to dissipate, so I'll need to wait through another cycle. I'm praying this will not be the case, but am preparing myself for it all the same. In the case that they tell me to come in for the ultrasound and then find that the coast is clear, then I get to start the IUI protocol! Which means it's a mere two weeks until the big procedure! But...I'm trying to not get my hopes up too much!

Friday! Summer is here!

I love the last day of school! I'm always more exhausted on this day, even though it's usually early release for the kids. I have to clean the classroom and tear down bulletin boards. And I'm also emotionally drained because I have to say bye to my students! Even on the worst days, they are just children, and I adore them.

M surprised me with a "last-day-of-school-gift" this morning! He got up at o-dark hundred to stand in line at the Apple Store in anticipation of the new iphone 3G S. He was SUPPOSED to just get one for him (we both have the iphone 3G!!), but when I was pulling away from Starbucks on my way to school, he pulled up next to me with my new phone! Yay! What a good guy he is...!

We are packing and cleaning for a trip to see my parents for Father's Day. I love weekend trips. AND I get to see my brother tomorrow!!!! Reggie and Jack, look out...your weekend is about to get a bit more "energetic"!

Movie.

There's an ad for a new movie that has been playing over and over again. The movie is "My Sister's Keeper" with Abigail Breslin and Cameron Diaz. In the trailer, Abigail character begins with, "Most babies are accidents.."

I beg to differ.

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Today, I am grateful for..

The last week of school.
Peace and quiet this evening while M is out.
My friend A who sent me an extremely thoughtful email.
My brother's excitement about his new dog.
New kitchen gadgets (yay Pampered Chef!)
Love. Hope. Patience.