Gratitude...it's been too long!

Today, I am grateful for...

1. Perspective. As I am beginning to experience some pregnancy-related inconveniences...like not being able to sleep on my tummy anymore....I am reminded how small a thing it is compared to the Big Picture.

2. My amazing hubby. The past few weeks I have started noticing subtle changes in his patience, demeanor, and attitude toward me. This is not to say that he's normally rude or un-caring, but I've seen a change in his willingness to care for and nurture me. This is so incredibly wonderful right now since my exhaustion and nausea must be tiresome to him.

3. My good friend A. Some of you may remember that she was the pregnant friend who was so incredibly kind to me during my infertile period. She never gave unwanted cliche advice and never told me I shouldn't feel angry or sad. She simply listened to me, and I loved being able to share my feelings with her. Now that she has had her gorgeous baby girl, she is a source of advice, love, and support for me in my pregnancy.

4. My little Elfie. Yes, that's right. M and I named our (then embryo, now fetus) little one Elfie. We wanted something Christmasy since we got our BFP 5 days before Christmas, and prefer to think of it as if Santa's Elves played a part in helping our dream come true. So Elfie it is. I marvel everyday at the life growing inside of me. It is still so surreal, and my love is already infinite.

Really? And a little bit of gratitude.

We moved to our New City in June 2008. We had just started TTC, and the first thing we did upon buying the house was to adopt Charlie, our handsome Black Lab. I was not at the point of concern in our baby journey at that point...just blissfully unaware. One day in July I took the rambunctious little bugger for a walk to the park(has anyone attempted to walk a 3-month old Labrador? Impossible...but that's a whole other story). I sat down on a bench where a woman was nursing her teeny little baby girl. I smiled at her and struck up a conversation..she told that she and her husband had also recently moved to New City, and that their baby was 2 months old. We chatted a few minutes more, and I scooted along with "Trouble" tagging me along. I remember wondering of someday I would run into her again with my own child. At that time, I thought I was very close to becoming pregnant!

Throughout the year and 4 months since then, I've thought of her a few times..wondering if they still lived here and how old their baby was. I look for her when I walk my now well-behaved, mature canine.

Today I was standing in line at the post office, and I looked up to see that she was being waited on at the counter. Once I realized it was her, I looked around for baby girl...but didn't see here anywhere. I couldn't help but overhear her conversation with the guy helping her. He was asking about her daughter. I heard her saying that the little girl is 18 months now (quick mental math told me that yes, that is the exact amount of time we have been trying)...and then she said, "And I only have 5 more weeks with this one!" At which point she turned, and sure enough her big, beautiful pregnant belly came into focus.

I was so taken aback! It seemed so recently that I met her with her teeny, tiny baby...and here she is about to give birth again! When I met her that day I was so excited at the thought that I would have a baby soon!

The thing is...I don't know her story. For all I know, these two children were IVF babies...I just couldn't help but say, "Really?"

And since I've been such a complainer lately, I feel some gratitude comin' on..
Today, I am grateful for:

1. Being prepared for my big Thanksgiving Feast that is in just over two weeks!! That's right, folks...I have never made a turkey, and this year I'll be cooking for 14 adults and 4 children. Needless to say, I started planning a few months ago (that's the teacher in me), so that the few days prior to the BIG DAY wouldn't be spent in stressful chaos.
2. Cold weather - I LOVE snuggling up in front of the fire!
3. My hard-working, loving, reassuring, practical hubby. He is my best friend and I couldn't ask for a better life partner.
4. My MIL and her fabulous Monday night meal, and her amazing photographic skills!
5. Organization and creativity.
6. Snuggles with my furbabies...even when they act like I am smothering them, I know they secretly love the doting attentiveness. I can't help it! M told me recently (as I was tucking Charlie in for bed) that it's time for a BABY, or else the dog is going to get a crib and a stroller!

Gratitude and IF

I haven't posted about my gratitude lately, so here goes...

Today I am grateful for...

1. A beautiful day yesterday: nice morning walk with hubby and puppy, productive fun with friend in the afternoon, and libations with ILs in the evening.

2. A month of birthdays! My hubby, mom, dad, and step-dad are all September babies, so it's a month of non-stop fun...(and of course I'm shortly after in October!). Today is Dad's - happy birthday old man!

3. Relaxing at home with movies.

4. The (official) beginning of Fall tomorrow..although our weather has yet to reflect it.

5. My mom's retirement celebration next weekend, and getting to see my brother!

6. Peace and patience.

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And, on the IF front, I had an opportunity to get some really good advice this weekend:

1. Just relax! I did with all of mine, and it worked perfectly!
2. Try to not think about it, and enjoy all your blessings.
3. Don't worry, it'll happen.

If I had a dollar for everytime I heard this...!

Ironically, this advice didn't bother me as much as it has in the past. I think I'm in a much better spot emotionally than I have been in the past 6 months. Maybe it's just that I'm used to it, and have come to expect such comments from people who don't know what it's like to struggle with IF. Recently, M said something to a group of us who were discussing IF that I missed at the time, but my friend repeated to me the other day:

People are doing the best they can with their own knowledge and life experiences.

What I take this to mean is that I shouldn't be so quick to react to what I perceive as fertiles being insensitive to my struggle, when they have no idea or experience with infertility! Honestly, I might have been one to say something like that if I hadn't experienced IF...who knows? Do we ever really step out of our shoes and try to imagine other people's pain in such a way that it's the same as experiencing it? No...We can't possibly. When I stop to think about this, I'm pretty sure there have been times I've made "insensitive" comments about situations I had no experience with.

Gratitude and my amazing friend.

Today, I am grateful for...

1. Recognition for my blog (yay!)
2. A nice lunch with my Aunt and Uncle (who live in a city far, far, away)
3. My hard working, diligent husband
4. Backyard play time with the pooch.
5. My mind being put at ease about ectopic rupture.
6. All my new creations.

And last, but not least..........

My fabulous friend E sent me a care package today. She packed it full of so many goodies! Books, candy, jewelry, and (best of all) a heartfelt note of sympathy and encouragement. She literally made my MONTH. I was so overwhelmed by this sweet gesture and I'm honored to be her friend. Thank you, E. Today I am most grateful for our friendship.

Being Thankful

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." -- Buddha

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Today, I am grateful for...

Sunshine and a clean pooch.
My ILs (I don't have to make dinner in this heat!)
M's handsome new haircut AND his sensitive side (that has been peeking out more and more as the months move along..)
All my supportive blogging friends and the IF community I've discovered (yay!)
New paint.
Packages in the mail (I love getting new books!!!)
Being okay no matter what happens.

Movie.

There's an ad for a new movie that has been playing over and over again. The movie is "My Sister's Keeper" with Abigail Breslin and Cameron Diaz. In the trailer, Abigail character begins with, "Most babies are accidents.."

I beg to differ.

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Today, I am grateful for..

The last week of school.
Peace and quiet this evening while M is out.
My friend A who sent me an extremely thoughtful email.
My brother's excitement about his new dog.
New kitchen gadgets (yay Pampered Chef!)
Love. Hope. Patience.

I'm counting down...

....rather, I've been counting down until the last day of school! I have 6 days left. I can make it. I WILL make it.

M and I decided last night that we are definitely going down to SoCal soon. It looks now like it will be the week starting with July 4th. Yay! I am going to start trying to coordinate details (Dog-sitter and accomodations for us). We'll plan to stay about 5 days and then head to my hometown for A's 30th and M's baby shower. I'm getting excited at just the prospect of getting away for a little while!

And if everything goes according to plan...(which, of course, it never does..), we'll be back in time for the big you-know-what!

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Today, I am grateful for...

Work. It keeps me busy and focused. And I love the joyful moments.
My beautiful home and the memories we are making in it.
My little bro. I'll be seeing him in almost a week!
Strength and Peace.
My looong convo with E last night. It was SO great to finally catch up!
Sushi. My FAVORITE dinner (and hubby surprised me with it tonight!).

Thursday!

Thursdays bring hope. They, to me, are the beginning of my weekend mindset. This is not to say that I am "checked out" at work on Fridays. Only that I have an extra spring in my step that signifies my joy that the weekend has arrived at last. I LOVE Friday. It is simply the best day of the week!

That being said...Today I am grateful for:

1. Parents of students who acknowledge my hard work. They inspire me to be my best!
2. Colleagues who keep me sane throughout the day.
3. My dog - he is so innocent, loving, and easy to please...and he doesn't talk back!
4. Rain, thunder, and lightning. Without it, the heat would be unbearable.
5. My husband and the delicious dinner he prepared tonight.
6. Long conversations with my bestest friend in the world.
7. New tomatoes and herbs growing in my garden.
8. AF. Now WHEN have I ever been happy to see her???
9. Hope.

My first post...a gratitude day.

Today, I am grateful for...

Patience with my students and the small joys we experience together.
A beautiful backyard.
Warm sunshine.
My adoring puppy - his innocence and unquestioning devotion.
M and everything he does.
My new blog!