Plans.

It's striking to me that although I make plans for a living (literally!), I've had to rearrange plans in my personal life for over a year now. We have a bedroom upstairs that I planned to be baby's room since the day we made the offer on our house. Well, actually, that's not exactly true. I wanted it to be the other upstairs room that M wanted for his office. He won...and it's a good thing, since there's no baby to occupy that room now - and we've been in our house for a year! But it's there, and it's not holding anthing I planned it to!

It used to be that I would hold off on buying regular clothes because I thought that I'd be needing maternity clothes in the near future. It was always in the back of my mind. I have given up on that plan for awhile!

I went in that room the other day. We have a queen bed in there that is used when we have more that one couple visiting (there's a real guest room downstairs). Also in there is everything I've collected for baby since we began TTC. It's not much, but when I think about how long it's been sitting there, I get a little sad. Last May, my SIL gave us her kids' baby furniture (crib and bassinet), so it's in there, disassembled and pathetic looking. In addition, last June my brother went to Paris and brought us back a onesie that says Paris on it. I had told him not long before that we were starting to try, and it was such a sweet gesture for him to think of us as parents while he was there. I remember the elation of seeing how small and sweet-looking it is, and thinking, "I'm going to be a mom!" Of course, I thought it would be much sooner than now.

I keep that door closed. While we are busy planning for the rest of the house..."What color to paint the bedroom? The office? How much would new floors cost? Should we extend our backyard patio?"..We haven't had one discussion about what to do with that room. In my head, I've pictured different decorations and colors (and of course every time I'm in a store I take small detours to the infant section), but it's never been something we actually plan to do until we see those two glorious pink lines. I think it's better this way. Even just going in there and seeing the few items we have is a hard reminder...so we'll celebrate when we know it's real and happening for us. Until then, we'll just keep making other plans.

How fortune-ate.

M and I tried a new Asian Bistro for dinner. It was great! But the best part was what I got in my fortune cookie:
Pretty cool, right? I totally agree! If you sit at home bummed out and sad, you're not going to get that end result you want so badly! Every IF blog I've read reminds me of how strong and determined you have to be to have success!!!

Ovulation = fewer cysts?

I ovulated. On Friday. It was real and definite ovulation pain, and I confirmed it this morning with a temperature spike. This is way early for me (Day 10), but I'm attributing that to last month's anovulatory cycle. SO...does this mean my cysts are dissipating? Since it was left ovary that produced this month, does that mean my right ovary is still humongous? I still feel fat, but that could so easily be attributed to the fact that I haven't been allowed to do anything strenuous in the past week and a half. Ugggh! I wish I knew the answers! Really, the bottom line is that I am just praying that my ovaries will be back to normal when the RE does another u/s in July (or, at this rate late June). If they aren't, I know he'll tell me we have to wait until August. I can be patient, but not THAT patient. Fingers crossed.

I'm counting down...

....rather, I've been counting down until the last day of school! I have 6 days left. I can make it. I WILL make it.

M and I decided last night that we are definitely going down to SoCal soon. It looks now like it will be the week starting with July 4th. Yay! I am going to start trying to coordinate details (Dog-sitter and accomodations for us). We'll plan to stay about 5 days and then head to my hometown for A's 30th and M's baby shower. I'm getting excited at just the prospect of getting away for a little while!

And if everything goes according to plan...(which, of course, it never does..), we'll be back in time for the big you-know-what!

******************

Today, I am grateful for...

Work. It keeps me busy and focused. And I love the joyful moments.
My beautiful home and the memories we are making in it.
My little bro. I'll be seeing him in almost a week!
Strength and Peace.
My looong convo with E last night. It was SO great to finally catch up!
Sushi. My FAVORITE dinner (and hubby surprised me with it tonight!).

Blood!

M and I are both feeling a bit "lighter" this afternoon. He picked me up from work and we headed over to LabCorp to have blood taken for infectious disease testing. In addition, I had a cystic fibrosis test. It was kinda cool going together, I felt like we were a team doing all the necessary preparations for next month's IUI. They took four vials from me and two from M...it seemed like so much blood! Now, if only they could get rid of those cysts. They are so cumbersome and stress-producing.

After our blood adventure we had an early-evening wine, cheese, strawberry party for two :). What a nice Wednesday. Sometimes, it's just the simple things...

Taking the Month Off!

As weird as it might sound for someone who is desperate to be a mother, I am happy that we are not trying this month. I think after 13 months it is nice to have a month of not wondering, not obsessing over every little twinge, and not timing everything just perfectly! Hello spontaneity, old friend, we've missed you!

Having said that...why is it that when you are TTC, EVERYONE around you is pregnant? I'm not joking even a little bit here. There are three pregnant ladies in my neighborhood who walk by my house with their dogs (separately - I don't think they're friends) almost every day! Are they taunting me? In addition, every time I go to Walmart, Target, or Raley's I see at least 2 bellies. Every. Time. THREE different news stations have preggers ladies on their broadcasts!

Okay, was my rant for the week. I just had to get it out of my system, and I feel MUCH BETTER. I am truly not a Bitter Betty...only sometimes! My pity party is now over.

Our cabinets (and the whole kitchen for that matter) look fantastic! Last night DH stayed up finishing them. HE is fantastic. I'm such a blessed lady...

New Kitchen.

Sunday always comes so fast! We had a relaxing AND productive day today, which, to me, is the whole point of having weekends!!! It's so important to rest, but it's also the time to get stuff done because you're not exhausted from the work day. After M mowed both lawns (I couldn't help today :(..), we took a "leisurely stroll" to Hope Depot because I had this genius idea that I wanted to put hardware on our kitchen cabinets. Interesting note: it is VERY hard to "stroll." I literally had to slow myself down at times. Not an easy task, and it doubled our normal travel time to HD.

I had a ton of brushed nickel knobs left over from our apartment days, and wanted to put them to good use! So we went to "the homeowner's paradise", which, by the way, we visit EVERY WEEKEND, and picked out the handles we wanted for our drawers..and we needed a few longer bolts, so we got those too. We love the HD by our house because they let you bring your dog inside. Charlie is a BIG FAN of this!

We had a fun afternoon of drilling, screwing (get your minds out of the gutter!), and admiring our new hardware. M made the point that it really helps detract from how beat-up our cabinets are, and I think they make the kitchen look more elegant and finished - they help to break the monotony of the all the cherry! We are about halfway done...

I think we are becoming home-improvement addicts! I'm okay with that.